So the last week I have been doing well on my new dosage of Topamax and my dizziness had gone away and I have been feeling great. Last night I was down stairs and I began shaking/shivering as if I was extremely cold and I wasn't.So I came upstairs and layed down into our bed and Em came out of the boys room and I remember telling her my head hurt and I went into a grand mal but it was different this time. I remember Em being with me and hearing her talk to me. She said it was worse than the last one I had and seemed very different. I was making a weird noise through my mouth and was having a hard time breathing. I didn't lose conciseness and kinda remember a good amount of it. It was very weird one this time. I also bit down on the side of my tongue pretty hard this time too.
I was very sore and groggy this morning when I woke up. But this whole thing is freaking me out. I have been doing so well and bam, another one. I just don't understand it. I am still getting used to the idea of living with Epilepsy. So I will be making another call to Dr. Rai Monday to let him know what happened. All day I have been freaking out as to why all of a sudden. It bums me out and I know that Emilee is worried as well.
Yet just because I am on meds and am "trying to eat better" is starting to make me think that I am not doing my best to get healthier. I was reminded today by a friends dad of a few things I need to do that will really make a hell of a difference and one of them is to quit smoking.. I need to do it, no excuses and with it I need good back up support as Emilee is also a smoker which makes it hard. I also want to try cold turkey. A picture my daughter sent me recently was a good reminder of 3 inspirations I have to think of daily for me to be a better healthier man, father and person.
I have a lot of things to consider and reflection to do on my current actions and the new ones I want to accomplish to achieve better health.